Monday, July 07, 2014

Living with Chronic Illness

I've been "at home, sick" aka on disability pension, since March 2002.  Generally, I've been living my "new normal" for a long time and don't often think about "being sick".  My illness is as managed as it can be, I know my body's limitations and, more or less, live within them.  There are still the odd days that I long to be back at work but as more and more of my old co-workers retire, it happens less and less.

What irks and saddens me most though, is how small my world has become.  My immediate family, a sister, a long-distance crafting buddy [weekly skype dates] and my health care professionals.  These are the people I see.

I absolutely dread running into anyone that knew me "before I got sick".  Ugh.  The weight gain, the lack of mobility, my drunken gait [vertigo, not booze], the ravages of my medication that show on my skin and hair.

Urocyon's Jaunts: "IN TODAY'S SOCIETY, CHRONIC ILLNESS IS VIEWED AS A PERSONAL FAILING › When I recently read the phrase, “I’m embarrassed to be sick,” it made my stomach clench and my breath catch.  ... a reluctance to be seen or even talk to people–especially those that knew me before I became chronically ill. ...   ... In our competitive society, chronic infirmity or illness is viewed as a personal failing rather than the random stroke of fate that it is.  "

'via Blog this'

Thank goodness for the internet.  My connection to the world, news, entertainment.  I visit on blogs like I used to go for coffee.  I don't have to excuse my looks.  Hell, I don't even have to be showered and dressed!  Plus, if I'm awake at 3am, my "pals" on the internet are too.  Thanks for being there internet.

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